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Sebastian works for the lazy combo of frienemies Rosetta (Reno) and Professor Morey (Mink Stole) translating dead romance languages. He lives with his roommate Ida, a cyber-chick agoraphobic nudist who realizes Hippo, a Boy George look-alike she's only ever met online. Ida's Aunt Gertrude, misunderstanding their BFF relationship, wills the house to Ida and her "husband" Sebastian. Not actually being married, Ida discovers she could lose her home to Noodles the poodle; her grandmother's dog!!! She decides to seek out the exotic Hippo whom she has only seen in the pictures Meanwhile, Sebastian offers to sacrifice his gayness by marrying Ida.

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